Tod und die Krahe: Eine Geschichte einer Reise
D. Gregory 12/2000
(note: this story is set following Haru ni Sakura in the Kenshin Kaden)
"Der reine Tor!"//
Act II
The Exhibition Hall was dark and silent, except for the occasional passing of guards. Shinomori Aoshi was unnoticed, even by the Oniwabanshuu he'd chosen. It wasn't their fault, because if he didn't wish to be seen, no one would ever sense his passing. He had traded the western clothing for shinobi gi, soft and fluid, and dark as night itself, to ease his passage, the black lacquered saya of his original kodachi secured against him.
The Viking exhibit, part of the Danish room, made his skin crawl. The scent of tar and pine was sickening to his nose, and the stern, blunt faces of the carvings were completely alien to his aesthetic. The flicker of torchlight, meant to increase some martial atmosphere, limned Todhimmel in a amber glow.
Aoshi stilled his breathing, crouched in the rafters of the Hall, thumbing out the primary of his kodachi with one hand.
The Austrian was preternaturally strong and faster than anyone Aoshi had ever seen… except for Himura and that tenken boy Soujiro….. His jaw twitched, and he dropped to the shadows of the floor silently.(He is not Himura. This is not Nihon.) he reminded himself sternly, his hand closing lightly on the hilt of the kodachi.. (and whatever game he is playing, I am through being a part of). He was a silent blur of shadow and pale, then, two bright blades flashing out in a deadly arc.
There was a sudden snap of darkness in front of him, a sudden blast of air that knocked his momentum away and sent him tumbling painfully into some glowering granite monolith. Todhimmel turned with glittering amber eyes, and extended an arm, something too black to see alighting there for a moment.
"You're quite good, Herr Shinomori.." he sounded as if amused by a child. "I didn't even hear you." The roiling blackness sprung from his arm and circled Aoshi.
His mouth was suddenly dry. "Nani mo…. What.. are you?" Aoshi had not been afraid of anything since his childhood.. horrified sometimes, disgusted others.. but he could not honestly remember ever being afraid since he'd come to live with the Oniwabanshuu. But something unpleasant coiled in the pit of his stomach. Something sour and persistent.
he black shape brushed against him, cold as the pits of hell, he imagined, schooling himself to remain still. "Aoshi… Look up." Todhimmel's voice was tender. The onmitsu did as told, mechanically, looking up at the dour statue above him, glaring down with one eye, two stylized birds on his shoulder.
His name's Odin. You're not familiar with our mythologies in the west are you, dear boy? No.. I didn't think so. Odin rode the gallows horse, Herr Shinomori… a god of death who gave up an eye to two ravens… in order to gain power and wisdom…" Todhimmel purred, striding over to where Aoshi leaned against the stone. He crouched next to him, even as the cold darkness flowed up against Aoshi's side, suddenly warming with the rustle of taffeta.
"Death always has it's shadows, M'sieu."
He turned, startled, to look into Columbine's midnight eyes. "You…"She ran a finger along his cheek, her shimmering blue skirts surrounding them both as Todhimmel smiled wolfishly at him. "You don't have to be afraid of us, dear brother…"
oshi's gaze snapped back between the two. "You have my undivided attention, Toduhimmeru-san." He said, soft and cold as a new snow. It just made Todhimmel's smile wider.
You think of death, as what, Aoshi..? A force of nature? A fact of life? Or an entity unto itself?" The yellow eyes twinkled and he cupped Aoshi's chin in his hand, tipping his head so that their eyes met. Columbine's fingers trailed idly over his chest, the jet-beaded jewelry, mourning jewelry, winking in the firelight.
Death.. simply.. is.. a fact of life..as you said…" Aoshi's voice was a whisper, afraid if he spoke any louder, it would crack. "I suppose you're going to tell me it's not…"
"Death…like love, I suppose, is a many splendoured thing, liebchen.. Odin.. the Morrigan…Hades.. all names for the Gods of Death here in our western lands.." Todhimmel leaned close to Aoshi, the onmitsu rigid with a combination of emotions he had no name for. "Shinigami…" Aoshi started, the rest of his words stilled by Todhimmel's finger pressed lightly to his lips. "very good…"
Death is not one, but legion..we are monitors, arbitrators… judges.. watching the progression of the mortal world…" Todhimmel's voice was perfectly rational, despite the absurdity of his words. To Aoshi they were so bizarre, he wondered if he were understanding him correctly. But yet, at the same time..
We are not alone, we…. Shinigami…" Todhimmel's finger on Aoshi's lip was replaced, briefly, by his cool mouth, even as Columbine started to press slow kisses behind Aoshi's ear. "we have our partners.. our shadows. We are nearly nothing without them, and they… are less than nothing without us.. the ravens.. our messengers, our….advisors.. You've always wanted to belong to something.. someone greater than yourself, haven't you, Aoshi?"
You don't know…." Aoshi started, then stilled, Columbine's tongue flicking against his ear and Todhimmel laughed, toying with the edge of the shinobi gi. " Come, now, boy… you served your masters, your.. group?… you followed their orders with all your heart and soul and it was never enough, even when they believed they were following you….. because they were not worthy of you, and you knew it… but… it all changed when you met the redhead, didn't it?"
Whatever warmth had started to build in the jade eyes suddenly froze solid. "What do you know about that..?" he spat.
I know he has red hair.. we all do….." Todhimmel's hand slid down, freeing the gi's sash. "golden eyes like mine? Or did he lose that? Poor broken god…" Aoshi closed his eyes, trying for the peace and stillness he found in mediation, despite the hammering of his own heart, the image behind his eyes of the hitokiri battousai, eyes yellow as a golden knife…eyes violet and kind…
Aoshi felt something wet on his cheek. A tear…. He opened his eyes to find with surprise it was his own.
"I wanted him to kill me…" the words tumbled out of him of their own volition as Todhimmel kissed the trickling damp away. "You wanted him to claim you… wanted the obsession to stop? The madness eating at your soul?" His breath was cool on Aoshi's skin. "Your paths always crossing but never flowing together?"
He was aware, peripherally, of Columbine's hand on his bare skin, easing the gi's tunic down his arms. Her hands were soft.. and so deftly gentle he could easily believe she could reach in and take his heart, still beating from his chest without him realizing it. Todhimmel's words made him ache. "…….why…?" was all he could croak out, the unfamiliar heat of tears threatening in his eyes again.
"Because he was foolish enough to lose you when the world was still young…" Columbine's voice. "The story haunts us all, sweet brother… cursed… lost.. " She sounded sad, even has her hair, black as Aoshi's own, spilled over his shoulder.
"The worst of it is, he knows something is missing… but his eyes aren't open enough to see it's right under his nose.." Todhimmel ran his thumb over Aoshi's lip. "You're looking for each other but you can't connect…. A thousand mortal lifetimes of wanting… and it won't be over until your ….what did you call it? shinigami…. finally comes to claim you again. Poor little bird…"
Aoshi felt nauseous. It was insane… but then he knew insane better than he cared to. As outlandish as Todhimmel's story was, it resonated with a keening ache in his bones. He knew his carefully schooled mask, the impassive face he'd spent so many years perfecting, slipped from Todhimmel's almost gleeful expression.
The world is a dangerous place for lost souls, liebchen… " The Austrian's mouth covered his in a swift motion and Aoshi's resistance crumbled between Todhimmel and his beautiful associate. He was suddenly tired of the fight , tired of the game. The iron embrace that encircled him was offering peace.. more.. a sense of belonging. Skin, soft as silk and flawless as a pearl slid against him, Columbine's fluid curves moulding against Aoshi's leaner, harder frame. Lashes like black feathers dipped against his throat as her soft lips whispered against his chest.
Todhimmel's lips traced the edge of one ear, his body buffering Aoshi's back from the rasp of the granite Odin, watching the twining flesh with an impassive, stony glare.
Aoshi started to lose himself in a world defined only by the flickering orange torchlight in the darkness, the boundaries between himself and the others dissolving in the union of their bodies. Someone moved, it didn't matter who now, and dark shimmers of pleasure and need shivered through his nerves. Iron and silk traced the lines of his scars, offering release from the memories they carried with them.
He opened his eyes, a flash of scarlet hair in his peripheral vision, the slightest breath sending sparks behind his eyes. Drumming pounded in his ears and it was an agonizingly long moment before he realized it was his heart.. Julien's heart.. Columbine's… beating together. His gaze was hazed by the thoughtless passion, pulled upwards to meet Odin's cold stare.
(two…ravens…) the thought nagged at him even as release coiled white hot in the depths, and Columbine's sweet cries pierced his ears. (two…) the rest of the thought was obliterated in the brilliant sun of their final, consuming passion. They slowed together, Todhimmel easing the three of them to lie on the floor, one cool hand stroking back Aoshi's sweat-clinging bangs. "see.. what I offer you, precious raven?"
It took Aoshi several moments to translate it, his thoughts slowed by the honeyed afterglow and the soothing heartbeats against him. Odin's lifeless glare weighed down on him, pressing the thoughts into something else. "Two.. ravens.. You…."
"…will become most powerful with two of you. And I will feast on the red tide that will consume Europe soon." Todhimmel purred affectionately as Columbine curled against Aoshi's chest. "it will be glorious.. like in the days of these great warriors…"
"Odin… you are… him… you want… to be him.." A sick, cold feeling suddenly washed through Aoshi and he struggled to free himself from the tangle of flesh. "kamisama…. No…." Todhimmel just watched him as the onmitsu crouched against the monolith. "you've done this before.."
Todhimmel's golden eyes took on a luminescence separate from the glow of the firelight as he stood, slowly replacing his clothing. "I've done what, dear boy?" he purred. Columbine watched them both, curled like a cat on the ground near Todhimmel's feet. Her black hair spilled across pearly flesh, hiding her face, but there was a dark glitter, her midnight eyes filled with separate interest.
"…another raven… you stole.. another…" His words were failing, unable to find purchase in his mind. Aoshi leaned back against the uncaring stone, a look of undisguised horror saying what couldn't find it's way to his lips.
Todhimmel laughed, pacing past Aoshi. "The world is a dangerous place for lost souls, Aoshi…" he repeated softly. "you… like Columbine…. exist only to be owned.."
"Teme… not by you…" Aoshi forced the words past part of himself that was on the verge of capitulation. The part whispering that it would be so nice for once, so nice to be accepted.. to not have to think… Jade eyes narrowed to slits. "Not by you."
Todhimmel only laughed, brittle and hollow in the exhibit hall. "I am going to light a fire that will devour these lands, Aoshi. You can join me, and bask in it.. or you can be consumed with it." The redhead held out his hand to Columbine, who got up and took it, with some reluctance. "Sleep well tonight."
Darkness swirled around them, like a woman gathering her long skirts, but before they vanished, Columbine's gaze met his, and there were volumes spoken in her dark eyes.
Feeling as if the air had been sucked from his lungs, with sweat clinging in his long black bangs, Shinomori Aoshi sagged against the monolith and began to laugh, ragged and wild. The sweat on his brow mingled with tears until he could no longer tell which was which.
~~~~~~~~~
My Dearest Misao:
I am sending Ishii back to Nihon with this letter, in the hopes that it will reach you before...
I am likely not returning to Kyoto. This is not because of any love of this unpleasant land. It is because of the Ravens. You must explain to Himura that I understand now. I understand the shadows that have always haunted me.
I understand why peace has always eluded me… and will continue to until I face the thing here.. the thing inside of me..
Misao, don't worry about me, like you always do, because there is no more need.
Aoshi
~~~~~~~
He sealed the letter and stared at it for a long moment, before summoning Ishii. The young man had been delighted with the opportunity to return home, even though he tried to hide it… as he had tried to hide the concern for his master.
They had found him, completely and thoroughly unlike his normal demeanor, laughing and crying, naked in the Viking Exhibit. Many of the Oniwabanshuu remembered when Aoshi had lost himself... had become like a demon and tried to destroy them for the sake of his madness.
Aoshi could see that fear on their faces, even in the light of morning, when he seemed to be himself once again. He carried out his duties as if nothing had happened, so that even his staff began to question what they had come upon in the dark of night.
He was to attend the theatre this night, a diversion he would have balked at under any other circumstance. Except all the Ambassadors.. nobles.. from all over the world, would be in attendance. Todhimmel had vowed to light a fire.. Aoshi's jaw tightened as he made his rounds, checking with his staff. There would be no better kindling than there.
The final glance from Columbine weighed on him. She was not human. He knew that with more than just the evidence presented by her appearance the night before. He knew in his soul, something he had often doubted he actually possessed. He needed to see her, to understand what her role in this was… and whether she would be friend or foe.
A flash of red caught the corner of Aoshi's eye and his stomach went cold, his body tensing for a fight. But it wasn't Him. Wasn't Todhimmel, but the plume of a hat, jaunty and scarlet. The Austrian's lack of physical presence only served to increase Aoshi's thoughts on him, a move he recognized as calculated, but still couldn't help but fall in to.
Todhimmel. Columbine. Himura. Himself. Two ravens flickering in shadowed firelight on the dead god's shoulder. It was insane. It was beyond insane. It was so far beyond insane that it made perfect sense to him now. He was filled with unspeakable regret that he wouldn't be able to share this with Himura. He sighed, letting a hand drift over a lacquered iron helmet in one of the displays. The past few days had proven a potent distraction to the empty feeling that had gnawed at him since he'd left Nihon.
Himura.
There had been a moment. Just one moment before Edo's fall and the rise of Meiji. The oniwabanshuu were not prone to gossip, and the existence of the Hitokiri Battousai, unspoken and unacknowledged by the powers they served.
But the half-whispered ponderings through the onmitsu's information network had proved too tantalizing for the boy Aoshi was to stand a moment longer. And one night, he did the unthinkable. At home in Kyoto he slipped away from his duties to find the red-haired demon. The fragments of information had proved fit, though, and he caught a glimpse of scarlet as he'd slipped through the shadows.
A glimpse. Only a glimpse of that red hair, a moment of golden eyes in a frame seemingly too small for a devil before the idiot Shinsengumi trampled onto the scene. He shouldn't have been seen, knew he couldn't have been seen in the comfortingly deep shadows where he knelt. But the chilling warmth that had touched his spine told him those golden eyes knew he was there.
A moment longer, and he would have willingly left the shadows to beg for their cold golden light.
He lingered too long to watch the battle that ensued, nails digging red crescents into his palms. But he didn't stay to watch the outcome. He had no doubt that if discovered, no matter who the winner was, he'd be dead. He'd fled, but the image before had lingered inside of him from that moment on.
(Ah. Himura. All these years. I wanted you would find me worthy… but for what reason, I never knew. I wonder what you'd make of all this - of the others….)
He was half-lost in the reverie of it all, when a small, soft hand lighted on his arm like a dove. He turned to follow the graceful line of arm to Columbine's round, sweet face.
"I was just thinking about you." He said softly and she smiled. "I know, M'sieu." She responded, teasing, but the smile didn't quite reach her midnight eyes. Aoshi took her hand, feeling the weight of people around them. "Would you join me for some tea, Corumbina-san?" The smile reached her eyes this time and she laughed brightly. "You have a lovely accent, Aoshi.. yes. I would love to. There is a café, just down the block…"
~~~~~
In the little café, tea came in delicate china cups spattered with violets, fragile like iridescent eggshells in two sets of pale, slim hands. They watched men and women bustle by as they sipped the amber liquid in silence. A small bowl of sugar on the table glittered like snow in the sunlight filtering through the canopied area. It reminded him of home. "You sought me out." Aoshi began, dropping his eyes to the steam rising from the cup. She nodded, running one small finger along the gilt edge of her cup. "Julien thought you might respond better to more subtle reasoning… or perhaps to my charms where his have failed." There was not an ounce of rancor or amusement in her tone, as if she were reciting something she'd heard too many times.
"Is that why you're really here?" She smelled like the violets painted on their teacups, faintly purple-sweet, and Aoshi couldn't help but watch her hands, remembering their soft touch. A twinkle lit in her eye. "My master bid me come to you, my brother.. but it's not a request that I took offense to." She set the cup down, the china chiming lightly against the saucer. "I cannot go against his will.."
"I have to." Aoshi's hand closed over hers, his thumb lightly stroking the back of her hand. The midnight eyes dropped and a pale, rosy blush dusted across her face. "I know." Lightly rouged lips parted, and she lifted his hand to them, pressing a kiss in his palm. "I wish it were different, Aoshi…"
He felt a little shiver, not unpleasant, tremble up his spine at her kiss. "It can be.. you can come with me.. back to Nihon." He offered, suddenly, giving her what passed for a reassuring smile. She only shook her head. "You can't kill him… He's truly what you think he is.. there is no escape for me…. Or for you. He will pursue you even to your own far lands now that he's decided he wants you.." Her small hands, like Misao's but so not like them, tightened on his fingers. "If you come to him of your own.. it wouldn't be bad.. we would have each other.." She leaned towards him, the sapphire-striped costume she wore today rustling like dead leaves as she did.
Aoshi got up abruptly, his chair clattering against the tiled floor. "Come with me." Columbine sat back, startled, and put off. "I told you, I can't go back to Nippon with you.."
"Not Nihon… the hotel." He said, blandly, with a quirk of a dark eyebrow. The other patrons of the café did their best not to look at them, and Columbine blushed a little deeper, her affronted expression softening into a wicked smile. "That, M'sieu, I can do."
~~~~~~~~~~
Her gown was left in a rumpled heap of striped sateen not far inside the door of his hotel room. The shining black waves of her hair spilled down her back as Aoshi's hands cupped Columbine's tiny, corseted waist, drawing her close, their mouths meeting in a fierce kiss.
The near-religious ecstasy of the night before was not in their kisses as they sank together against the bed. Instead, there was a mutual desperation, unspoken but clear. Columbine's perfect nails dug red welts into his back, the pain in counterpoint to her enveloping warmth, in echo of Aoshi's hands pressing whitely into the soft curve of her hips and thighs as he drove into her.
There was a sharp biting pain in his lower lip, and Aoshi tasted his own blood, mingled with the waxy sweetness of Columbine's rouge, and her slender legs in their white stockings tightened around his waist. "My.. brother…" she panted out as the heavy bed beneath them groaned in complaint of their increasing, sinuous movement.
The rest of her words were lost in a hoarse cry..just like that of a raven.
When it was done, and they lie together, trying to catch their breaths, Aoshi pressed a gentle, fraternal kiss to her forehead. "Tonight, Corumbina-chan.. Tonight I will see you and Toduhimmeru-san.. and it will all be resolved."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Todhimmel had sent him a formal suit.. a tuxedo, he believed it was called. The note on the box had been a simple, unctuous request to wear it, all the better to set off the stark beauty of "le beau corbeau sans merci"…Aoshi snorted as he set the card down, slipping into the dark, luxurious fabric.
His spirit was light as he mused on why gaijin felt their clothing had to be so complicated. Columbine's scent still clung to him, and Julien's ghosted from the black wool of the tuxedo. Aoshi closed his eyes, the combination heady, and gripped the back of the room's ornate chair. The edges of the carving dug painfully into his hand, clearing his head and a small, fierce smile crossed his lips. With great care, he prepared himself as he would have for an audience with the Shogun, in the days when he served in the shadows of Edo's palace.
Finished, he took up the gleaming black walking stick and regarded his reflection favorably. He was almost humming as he passed his some of his staff in the hall, down to where the Ambassador's carriage awaited.
"Shinomori-san.. you seem unusually cheerful tonight." The obnoxious little man commented as the carriage clattered towards the theatre. "The spirit is refreshed by a sense of true purpose, your Excellency." Aoshi offered with a faint smile. "I am quite certain this evening will prove enlightening."
Unnerved, the Ambassador found myriad reasons not to even make eye contact with the onmitsu for the rest of the brief journey.
~~~~~~
So many people. The scent of human bodies, spiked with perfume and heady emotion, filled the theatre more than the steady murmur of their voices. Aoshi followed the Ambassador in, on the surface alert for any danger to the little man.
But he didn't see what he was truly looking for until they took their seats in one of the balconies. In the next balcony over, it's heavy red brocade curtains drawn back, Aoshi caught sight of the impeccably dressed Austrian and his associate. Sapphires winked like stars in her dark hair, and a froth of black lace cascaded over the deep blue silk of her gown. She looked up to see him, a smile lighting her face, and fading like a firefly when Julien turned.
A smug, satisfied look settled in the Austrian's leonine eyes. Todhimmel summoned an usher to him and pressed a small card into the man's hand. Aoshi couldn't hear their words, but the intent was clear. When the card reached him, Todhimmel's elegant script carried a short message.
"Sur le toit. Deuxième acte" Aoshi crumpled the heavy creamy paper, the edges digging into his hand. "So desu ne. The roof it is."
The opening strains of the music swelled. Figures moved out onto a stage decorated like a forest, their elaborate costumes decorated with doves. It was like watching a Kabuki, an exercise which Aoshi rarely enjoyed. The ambassador seemed thoroughly bored as well. "Shinomori, do you understand any of this?" he whispered as the performers emoted, and scenes changed. A man dressed in kingly robes conveyed some great pain and a choir of boys' voices rose to the rafters.
"They're singing about redemption, Ambassador." Aoshi murmured, watching Todhimmel and Columbine in the next balcony. "and the blood you have to shed for it." The echoing voices were muffled as the curtain fell, applause rippling throughout the audience below. Todhimmel caught his gaze, the amber eyes filled with an anticipatory light.
Aoshi inclined his head, black bangs veiling his own eyes and excused himself from the ambassador. The curtain rose on a dark castle, festooned with garish, arcane accessories. A man's rumbling baritone filled the theatre as Aoshi pushed aside the heavy curtains to the hall.
"Die Ziet ist da…
Schon lockt mein Zauberschloss den Toren,
den, kindisch jauchzend, fern ich nahen seh'.
Im Todesschalfe hält der Fluch sie fest,
er ich den Krampf zu lösen weiss….
A uf denn! Ans Werk!" (2)
Words he didn't entirely understand followed him out into the stairwell. "Up, then! To work!" Aoshi snorted as he pushed open the heavy door.
A crisp breeze skittered across the roof of the theatre, the lights of Zurich surrounding below in a warm, faint yellow glow. Columbine laughed, her shimmering skirts rolling around Aoshi like the sea as she twirled next to him, white hands lighting on the black sleeve of his suit.
"I can't tell you how relieved I am, liebchen, that you're making this easy for all of us." Todhimmel groomed the end of his moustache and tugged on the starched white waistcoat. "It's much more civilized this way." He said with a faint smirk. "But then I've heard Nippon is an eminently civilized nation."
Aoshi leaned on his walking stick as Columbine rested her head on his shoulder. "Since I've come here… Jureien … you could afford me the truth. About yourself. About me… About all of this" He lifted his head slightly, green eyes glittering in the dark beneath the ink-black bangs. "It's only fair, civilized, hai?"
Todhimmel looked mildly affronted. "Is this some attempt to make some sort of deal, then, Aoshi?" He purred, eyes narrowing. Aoshi watched him for a long moment, his own face placid. "I am Shinomori Aoshi of the Oniwabanshuu of Kyoto. I do not make deals, and I do not play games." He flicked back a length of his hair with one white-gloved hand. "But you pride yourself on being a… gentleman, do you not?"
The red-haired man burst into a roar of laughter, and Columbine startled against Aoshi. "Julien.." she said softly. "He's right, you know." Her voice was sweet. "He deserves to know."
Todhimmel wiped a tear from the corner of his eye as his laughter subsided. "Pretty little birds, ganging up on me already?" He paced briefly, then bowed. "I am at your disposal then. You are aware of Death, are you not? Death is the constant of the universe. Eventually, everything dies. Death comes to creatures small and great. A great equalizer, if you will."
"This is not new information." Aoshi offered blandly, tilting his head slightly.
"True. But please, humor me, as this is a complicated vignette." Todhimmel said with a flourish, enjoying the role. "For as long as there was life on this earth of ours, Death ensured the progression, the replacement of one life with the next, lives returning to their source like a river into the sea if you will. That is, until a peculiar creature opened it's eyes one day and threw Death's carefully ticking timepiece totally out of kilter. Thinking Man, Aoshi. Cognizant of more than just his own existence. Thinking Man had… expectations. Thinking Man wanted afterlifes and ancestors, continuance beyond the laws writ by life and death at the conception of time itself, gnashing his teeth, and unwilling to go into the long, dark night."
"And these expectations, these beliefs were so strong, the world of the living began to clutter up with the spirits of the dead. Little bits of human energy lingering about because they thought they were getting something else." Todhimmel snorted, pacing again. "So Death, understandably frustrated by this development, created shadows of itself. These shadows would take the form of whatever these rambling leftovers were looking for, to guide them, ease them back into oblivion."
Next to Aoshi, Columbine's eyes lit up like a child's, and she bounced slightly on her feet with a sunny grin, deflating visibly in the next moment when Todhimmel spoke again. "And these shadows, for the most part, botched the job." He sniffed.
"They were superb mimics, these shadows, becoming black birds, haunting apparitions of imagined ancestors… but they lacked the true understanding of what made Thinking Man different from the other beasts on this world." Todhimmel smoothed the front of his coat. "So Death decided on a different sort of tactic. One night, when fingers of ice still clenched the world's heart, a black rain fell upon the world, and in some humans, a little dark kernel lodged itself. An infinitesimal fragment of Death."
As the Austrian rambled on, Aoshi watched him, pacing, sketching grand gestures in the air. Todhimmel's voice rose as women's laughter, bright and false, bubbled up from the theater below them.
"These Children of Death, would grow up, unknowing their true purpose, and in some, the black fragment would sleep through generations until it awakened in them. Once awakened, though, they would not go into nothingness like ordinary humans. No…" He moved closer to Aoshi and Columbine, shoes clicking on the rooftiles like hooves. "The would become like Death… they would become Death's proxy, Death's agent, knowledgeable of their prey. And to assist it's new agents, Death gave to it's Children the shadows. Failures… alone, they would be excellent helpmates."
Todhimmel's eyes were bright and a flush of excitement was rising in his face, in his voice. He caressed Columbine's cheek, and Aoshi slipped a hand around her tiny waist, drawing her closer to him. The Austrian licked his lips and turned. "That is where my story begins, Herr Krahe… A Child of Death in a frozen land, a god among men. And as my lifesblood leaked out into the snow after a ferocious, glorious battle, Death came to me with a raven perched upon it's shoulder and told me my destiny."
Columbine's hand tightened on his arm, and the faintest flicker of annoyance passed across Aoshi's impassive face. It belied the beating of his heart, thudding in his ears. "Your destiny."
"Et nous serons des Dieux, savoir bon et mal…" Todhimmel smiled, coldly. "And we shall be as gods, knowing good and evil…"
"And which are you, then?" Aoshi's thumb traced the silver cap of the walking stick as Todhimmel winked at him. "I am above such judgement. I may know good and evil, but such considerations don't apply to superior creatures like myself. My destiny is written in blood, Aoshi. Like all of my siblings, like even your neglectful master in your far away homeland. It was written thus when Death gave me my beautiful Raven, and I became the god astride the gallows horse. It is blood of my destiny that I want to revel in."
Aoshi felt Columbine's head rest against his shoulder. "My.. neglectful master. You were going to explain that in further detail, weren't you?" he trailed off, not liking the grin that warmed Todhimmel's face.
"Remember I spoke of expectations, liebchen? Thinking Man, with his expectations, his beliefs, also grew afraid of Death. Sought out magic that would keep the wolf from his door, as it were. Anything to stave off what truly is inevitable. Your own land, rumor has it, was populated by mighty sorceresses in the shrouded past. Well, at the very least, one. And her beloved died, as all beloved things tend to do when you least want them to."
Todhimmel reached over and tugged on a curling lock of Columbine's hair, watching it twine over his fingers. "This sorceress mustered all the dark forces at her command, her only wish, to have vengeance on Death, more so than even to restore her loved one to life. She asked for help from whatever power that would listen to her." He smirked. "And she rather quite got it."
Columbine stiffened against Aoshi's chest, and they both looked at Todhimmel. "You helped her." She whispered, softly, midnight eyes widening. Aoshi frowned. "Helped her? Nani mo…"
Todhimmel smiled impishly, continuing his story as though the girl hadn't spoken at all. "She gained the power to trap death's shadow as it passed through her lands. She trapped it in a mortal vessel. The shadow begged her to stop, even as the Child of Death, the little god the shadow had been given to railed against her magic to come to it's aid. Then, in true melodramatic fashion, it was over. The fool woman killed the shadow, tried to kill the.. hm. what did you call it before? oh, yes. The shinigami.. killed herself instead. Messy. Completely botched the entire affair."
From below, a woman's tortured soprano cut through the masonry beneath their feet.
Da lach' ich …lache…
kann nicht weinen..
nur schreien, wüten, toben, rasen…
in stets erneueter Wahnsinns Nacht…."(3)
Todhimmel snorted. "Of course, nothing like that had ever happened before, and Death was quite put out with coming up with a solution. How weak a god is when he can't even save a piece of himself from some lovesick hag." He gestured broadly. "Death gave it's weakling child an undeserved opportunity and allowed his soul to return to the mortal world to search out the spirit of his shadow, now lost among the ever growing babble of human hearts. Ah well. But that's all quite behind us now, isn't it, Aoshi?"
"Now, Herr Krahe.." Todhimmel rested his hands on his hips, his voice smooth, at odds with the excitement burning in his eyes. "We are going to continue to be reasonable about this are we not? You came up here of your own free will. Give yourself over to me, and there will be no more questioning about your purpose in life. No more madness lurking in the corners."
Aoshi felt a slow burning anger, as the tenor and soprano dueled in the theater below. He took a step forward, and opened his mouth to speak, but Columbine had already pushed away from him, her small hands clenched in fists as she flew at Todhimmel. "You.. it was you.. you helped her hurt them! You swine!" Todhimmel's elegant façade cracked for only a moment, long enough to let something ugly and dark show through in his yellow eyes, and one hand impacted against Columbine's cheek with a loud snap.
"Don’t be shrewish, my little dove. It's unbecoming." He sneered as she fell, jeweled hairpins clattering against the rooftop, a smear of lip rouge and blood across her white cheek. "You shouldn't forget your place is with me, and nothing can change that."
She laughed softly, despite the dampness in her eyes, wiping at her face. "Nothing.."
Aoshi's eyes narrowed. "Then my place, Jureien.." he opened his arms, beatific, turning the walking stick over in a white-gloved hand. "My place…?"
Todhimmel's grin broadened. "Your place, Aoshi, is with the strongest of the Children of Death, the one who will watch over you, raise you up to be so much more…" He took a step forward.
A cold smile lit Aoshi's face as he thumbed the catch on the silver cap of the walking stick, and the gleaming black wood separated. Twin swords fell lightly into his hands as the sheath made a hollow sound, clunking on the rooftop.
"My place.. is not with you."
The woman's voice below rose in shards of furious high sound as Aoshi's arm blurred, black, glinting silver. "Onmyou Hasshi!" Todhimmel started to laugh in the moment the kodachi raced toward him, batting it away. His eyes widened at the next heartbeat, the second blade behind it too close, too fast.
There was sick, wet crunch, punctuated by a screeching, inhuman howl. Red gouted fast and bright as Todhimmel flailed at the blade piercing the ruined socket of an eye, pinning him to the wall behind.
Columbine sat, frozen, staring. "Julien?" she asked in a tiny voice as the bloodied Todhimmel roared, trying to pull the blade free. "Corumbina… issho ni..come here.." Aoshi sagged to his knees and held out his hand to her. "Aoshi.. " She scrambled to him. "You can't kill him like that.. You don't know what you've done…" Her hands dug into his arms as Aoshi embraced her. "you're wrong.."
He flicked his wrist, and a secret blade, hidden for this last moment, slid cool, gleaming like an icicle into his hand.
"I do…" Aoshi closed his eyes and crushed her against him as he drove the blade through her, into himself. (Ah, Himura…Kenshin… if this is true.. then this is not the end. I will see you again. Wait for me.) He felt the bright edge reach his heart and he opened his eyes again to look into Columbine's wide dark ones.
Far below, in the theatre, the orchestra rumbled like thunder, like crumbling mountains, and one clear voice sang:
"Du weisst…
wo du mich wiederfinden kannst!"
Aoshi smiled at her, the copper musk of blood rich in his mouth. "You… know where you can find me again." He said tenderly, kissing the bruised mouth beneath his, tasting her blood in his mouth as the blade found its mark.
The audience below applauded it's approval as the wind rustled Columbine's skirts, ripples on a silk-satin pond. In the silence of the roof there was only the rustle, and the low, animal growling coming from Todhimmel, bloody hand still pawing at the kodachi, his other eye wide and dull, the light gone from the waxy amber depths.
The bells of the orchestra chimed, and without a sound, the girl dissolved into a flurry of wetly-gleaming black butterflies, rising, a shimmering cloud from the lean, still figure, before they reaffirmed themselves into a human shape. "Oniisan…" She touched Aoshi's cheek gently with a smile. A smile Aoshi seemed to return.
"Col..um..bine…" the ruined shape behind her croaked. "He's gone, Odin." She said without turning, black hair waving gently in the breeze. "And you have used up that body, I think." She bit her lip, and looked over her shoulder.
"I'm leaving." Her voice wavered. "Goodbye." A tear welled in the corner of her eye as the wind picked up, swirling the blue silk around her, and then casting it away as it was now empty. The soft beating of black wings, and she was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They had taken it well, the boy with the midnight eyes thought as he stepped away from the Kamiya Dojo. The stiff blue fabric of his policeman's uniform made a soft shusshing sound as he walked, but it felt awkward.
They had all been there, gathered because the one named Himura had taken ill just a few days before, with an unnamed listlessness his wife had said. Himura-san. The violet eyes had widened when the boy entered, filled with recognition as he spoke.
There was just enough of Aoshi's features in the boy's face to make them all wonder, he saw it in their eyes. And he knew they'd be wondering even more once Aoshi's own man finally arrived with the letter.
"Aoshi." Himura had nodded, emotions that would never find words welling up in his eyes. The boy was surprised, really, that the man was so small. But it made him feel good just being around him, a warm comfortable feeling. Given the number of friends he had, they all felt it too.
They were sad, though, at the news, one girl in particular, he was fairly certain she was Misao, and that made the boy feel good as well. To know Aoshi was missed. Himura walked him to the gate as the sun slid high overhead, reducing their shadows small dark places beneath their feet.
"Who are you, really?" the small man asked him, one hand gripping the crisp blue uniform sleeve.
"Hatoko." The boy answered after a moment's thought. "You can call me Hatoko, Himura-san." And he gave the little red-haired man his warmest smile, one that reached all the way to his indigo eyes. The boy's small hand gently disengaged Himura's from his arm, and he walked out of the gate into the traffic of the street.
Out in the bustling crowds of Tokyo, the boy looked around, squinting at the golden sun as a brief shadow passed across it's bright face. "I know where to find you again, big brother."
And he vanished into the crowds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1000 no rekishi wa taenaku nagareru
Itoshii mono e kawaranu chikai wo
**
1000 no negai ga hoshi wa kagayakaseru
Itoshii mono e michibiku hikari wo
Notes:
(1)(The
innocent fool,
(2)(The time has come, my magic castle lures the fool,
(3)(Then I laugh, laugh.
The
1000 history flows endlessly
The never-changing promise to the loved one
The
1000 wishes makes the stars glow
The light that shows the way to the loved one
1999-2000 © Daisuke Asakura/Iceman "Wish Matrix"
English Translation : Seri-kun